I have a struggle to confess to my readers. When an author writes about crime stories, or murder stories, in particular, no one asks that author if they actually go out and kill people when they’re not writing. They’re able to distinguish what the author writes from the author’s life. But when an author writes erotica, it’s a common idea that the author is out there having loads and loads of sex with everyone they meet. That they suffer from an insatiable sexual appetite. This is not the case. Well, not for me anyway.
“Write what you know” is a common phrase that’s thrown around in the creative community. But I doubt that many murder writers have actual experience with murder or fantasy writers have actually ridden dragons. So what does that mean? I take it to mean that you write from a place in your heart that you know well.
I have had 14 sexual partners in my life. I know that’s a pretty personal statement to make. It’s a mix of men and women over the years. Mostly men. But 90% of my sexual experience has come from my husband. Honestly, most of the 14 were pretty lousy or unmemorable. I was either really young and exploring things or it was a momentary episode. It’s like the food you eat. I’ve eaten at a really fancy restaurant a few times. But most of my meals are at home that we cook ourselves. And that get’s really awesome after a while.
I don’t need to be some insatiable horndog to write about what I know. Nor am I a hoe. Like I wrote in one of my first posts, how you define sex determines a lot about you. There’s a line between what you consider acceptable sexual behavior and what you consider to be unacceptable. That line is pretty arbitrary for each person.
People who write also tend to be observant. They notice things that many others don’t. They see stories everywhere and remember what’s happened not only to them but what other people tell them. This is where I get most of my material. Yes, I’ve managed to have a bunch of sexual experiences. But I have friendships where we discuss each other’s experiences together and a tweak here and a tweak there and boom! You’ve got a story.
So why do I do what I do? I want to write what I know and what I know is the joy that comes from sex. I know that my stories elicit a strong response from those who read them. For most, that’s very positive. For some, they don’t know what to do with their sexual feelings and have toxic responses as a result. They can’t handle their discomfort with their own sexual feelings. If you work out the money that I make from my stories it’s about $0.0007 an hour. On a good day. So I don’t do it for that. I do it because when you buy and read my stories, for that time you hear my voice inside your head. You see the things I see. You feel the things I feel. And for that moment we two strangers are linked and linked by the strongest emotions and feelings possible, the feelings of sex.
So, I am not a whore. Explore your own sexual feelings. Your feelings should be pure, not toxic. If they’re not bringing you joy, then you’re doing something wrong. If it brings you shame and discomfort, something’s not right. Communicate with your loved one. Live a sexually honest life. And hopefully, my stories bring something out of you. Check out the link below. Take the plunge and buy it if you haven’t already. But do it for you, not for me. Muah! Have a horny day!