Let Me Be Free!

Tumblr is dead. That sucks. It’s where the majority of my readers came from. It puts the future of my blog in jeopardy. I have not known what to do with myself over the last several weeks. I hope that my blog can survive this change.

I had a lot of mixed emotions. The first was I felt like someone had punched the wind out of me. It reminded me of two unpleasant events in my life. The first was at a water park when I was there with my girlfriend, Esther.

I wore a bikini. Did I have the body for a bikini? Maybe not. But that was before my childbearing days and so I didn’t NOT have a bikini body. My huge boobs were well covered. Esther and I had spent hours shopping around for a bikini that wouldn’t be completely ludicrous to wear. The only thing that would have been offensive would have been my exposed freckled skin and not providing sunglasses to onlookers as a courtesy. Esther was more flat chested and didn’t have the same issues I did.

The looks I got that day were awful. It wasn’t homophobia either, and it wasn’t from men. Men in Utah County don’t openly leer. They leer without knowing it and I like that. Women in Utah county scowl and glare. One woman who I did not know in particular gave me the stink eye all day. She was modestly covered in a wrap that sported her favorite Utah county private university. We got into it in line. I can have a bit of a temper and called her out on her crusties. Words were said. In the end, she reached out and ripped my top off in her pious rage. She broke the strap and I was left to clutch a broken piece of fabric around myself as I hurried out in shame. I still won’t go back there, no matter how many peaks it has. I hope she’s fat and her husband came out as gay and left her years ago. He’s now fabulous and she’s a wrecked disaster with cellulite, but still has a neat white and blue wrap. I tell you, don’t piss me off.

The second was not too long ago in church when I was openly chided by a sister of the ward for dressing “too provocatively” to church. I was a source of temptation for the men of the ward. Men can’t control themselves and my curves were just too much to bear. She told me that the spirit was offended by the tightness of my skirt and it was indecent. Fortunately, I have learned a bit over the years to keep my tongue and so just thanked her for the attention she gave my curves. That made her feel uncomfortable. She probably hasn’t been banged in a year.

So what does this have to do with Tumblr? People love to tell others what to do with their body. Especially women. Women love to point out how men control women’s bodies, but women do the same. Here is my message:

The Power of My Sexuality Is Mine to Do With As I Please with the Power of Consent!!!

Some people say Tumblr is an example of censorship. It is, sort of. Censorship usually comes from the government. That is not the case. Tumblr is a private company and can do as it pleases. We’ll all see its demise over the coming months as a result, I’m sure. But it’s their choice. So while I don’t agree with it, I don’t really blame them. They actually mismanaged their site to the point where child pornographers infiltrated them and they did nothing about it. They shot themselves in the foot with their poor business practices.

In 2018 though we don’t have to worry about government silencing our voices as much as we do about the unofficial government of the mob rule. These are those who think they’re doing the world a favor but they make it harder. 2/3rds of all women have faced sexual assault at some time in their life. Myself included. But if we assume every man is guilty without proof or evidence, then we actually hurt real victims in the future. When we shut down legal ways to get pornography you push people off into the fringes and you’ll actually make it easier for child pornography to flourish.

Writing is how I express my sexuality. I hope that I will continue to have an audience for that in the future if you’re all there with me. I will be here to tease an tantalize your minds with my words as long as you’ll have me. Don’t be silenced! Don’t silence others! So much of our world today only destroys and builds nothing. They only destroy and create nothing. To me, that tells you everything you need to know about them.