Welcome to the internet! Here you can do almost anything you want to. What’s that you say? You’d like to use the wonderful invention of the world wide web to find a few friends for some philandering fornication? Have you heard tales of Friends With Benefits (FWB) just lying around the corner for your most carnal of pleasures? Well, you’ve come to the right place, my friend. What’s that you say? Not having much success? Keep getting catfished or rejected. Have you struck up a conversation only to have the lady vanish? Well, let me, as a woman, give you a few tips that will help you properly seduce our lady kind on the internets.
I am a woman who uses the internet for sex-themed content. I have seen the worst in huMANity here. I have been the victim of harassment, threats at the worst and just disgusting and rude behavior in general. So let me honestly seek to help you out.
One of the greatest things about the internet is that it allows you to be whoever you want to be. We can present ourselves as being better than we really are. Everyone does this to some extent. That’s fine. It’s the same reason we take care of our hygiene when we go out in public. We want to look good. There are limits to this though.
I once met a man in real life and we hit it off. He was charming and handsome. I was attracted to him on every level possible. I was eager to hump his bones. Vigorously. Then, through some investigation on my part, I found out that he was married and had lied to me about this. I was devastated. If he had lied to me about this, what else had he lied to me about? I had fallen for a fictional character and suffered because of it. If you’re out stepping behind your wife’s back, that’s your business. Will it scare some women away. Yes. But not all. In the end, it’ll benefit you and help you get what you want while preserving who you really are. There’s plenty of women willing to fool around with married men. Find those ladies. Don’t lie to the rest.
You Don’t Have A Magic Wang
It’s been precisely 0 days since I’ve received an unsolicited dick pic. Guys are proud of their cocks. Big or small, thick or thin, you all want to share it. I could write a whole other post on how to take a good dick pic, but here’s not the place. Guys must think they have a magic penis. That if you could just get us to see your little guy, we’d fall madly in love with you. Or better yet, our evolutionary brains will take over and we’ll uncontrollably spread our legs in a mad lust for your precious little prick.
No. Now, I get it. Sharing a dimly lit, medically close-up blurry image of your swollen veiny penis buried in a wild nest of tangled pubes is sexually exciting for you. It really is. That’s why people take naked pictures of themselves and share it. It’s genuinely thrilling. But maybe if we ladies didn’t see 1,000 in a given week it would mean more. The truth is. You’ll actually get much farther in your seduction if you don’t share it. Resist the urge. Don’t show us unless we ask. If a lady asks right away for your dick, it’s probably a catfish situation. Keep it to yourself. Save the spoiler for in person.
Learn the Art of Conversation
A conversation is an exchange of thoughts and ideas between two people. It’s difficult to master. Chances are you’re going into a conversation on a cold contact. You need to find a non-threatening way to approach this lady who has become the object of your desire. It’s not new. This is why pick up lines were invented. Consider this: Hey. Now, what can I as a woman do with this introduction? It’s one word and everyone uses it. If you start this way you blend into the background of 900 other suitors. I can say hey back. But then we’re wasting time. The conversation is already tedious. You’ve done nothing for me.
Not only do you have to stand out, but you as the initiator also have the burden of carrying on the conversation. This means you work for it. Not me. If I have to work to answer you, I just won’t. For example. “What do you like to do?” First of all, a lame question. Second, I have to type out a detailed answer with little to work on. Too much work. You get ignored.
Does that not seem fair? Yeah, it’s not. But we’re not going to spread our legs for minimal effort here. This is the trill of the hunt. You’re the hunter. Make it interesting. Learn how to carry on a conversation. Don’t ask close-ended questions.
Don’t Be Rapey
If you’re a guy I’m probably going to go out on a limb and say that you don’t fear being raped whenever you go out in public. I guess I personally don’t either, but as a woman, I have to take precautions. I can’t put myself in risky situations. It’s something we all live with every day just by virtue of being a woman. So that means you have to work extra hard to counter-balance all the dirtbags out there. If you say, “wanna f__k?” as your opener it’s a no from me dawg. I’m worried that if we meet you’ll end up wearing my skin as a woman suit around your dungeon lair. So before you ask a stranger to meet in person, we better have a good conversation about more than you fking my holes. Which brings me to my next point . . .
To every casual encounter on the internet, there’s a cost to benefit ratio. It’s always risky when married people are involved. That’s a risk. Will the benefit you bring be enough to outweigh it? Not if you ignore the other things I’ve talked about. So make sure you bring a lot to the table. You can showcase this through great conversation, having a real profile and being a wonderful human. The promise of sex which quite honestly will prove to be mediocre isn’t enough to bring most women out of their shells. There has to be more. You have to be stellar.
So you want to come across as humble. That’s important. You don’t want to be an overconfident douche. It takes a lot of courage to talk to a lady. What if you get rejected? Nearly every message I get involves some guy apologizing for something. Sorry to bother you. Let me know if you’re annoyed. Sorry if this is too forward. What you’re trying to do is project politeness and humility. That’s good. But it comes across as weak and spineless. You can be confident without being a douche. It takes effort. Remember, you’re the hunter. We want to be wooed not apologized to. If you tell a woman she’s better than you enough times, she’ll believe it.
No Means No
This goes along with not being rapey. You’ll get rejected. So prepare for it. But the goal should be to build a relationship rather than a one-time quickie. If you want that, there are massage parlors all around that can take care of you for a cheap price. You might actually want to try them out. If you want an interaction that means more, then you have to work harder.
Women are not men. We are wired differently. You can do everything right and the answer is still no. If a woman stops messaging you, the answer is probably no. Move on. Don’t be clingy.
This is usually where I get harassed. People yell at me for not answering fast enough or they think I’ve rejected them when I’ve just not messaged them for five minutes. Chill out. People have lives and until you prove otherwise, you’re not a priority. No means no. Take rejection with quiet dignity and grace. Don’t apologize. Don’t even say anything. Just leave it be.
The Overall Theme
There’s an overall theme here. You have to work hard to properly seduce someone online. If it’s too easy then you’re either getting catfished or you’ll end up with herpes. Be willing to put in the effort. It’s a game. Have fun with it. Be patient. We’ll fall for YOU in the end and the relationship will be much more powerful. That’s the real connection. It’s not about bumping uglies. That’s a side benefit. Hopefully, when you read my stories you get the idea that it’s the feeling between the people that leads to great sex. More so than talent or physicality. Bring something to the table. There’s a supply and demand issue. There are probably literally 1,000 males to every willing female online. We ladies see the ugly side of things. You have to be different and bring value to us otherwise you’re just another 1 in a 1,000.
As a married Mormon man, I can bear testimony to the truth of what Meredith has written. 😉 Honesty, personality, conversation, humor, intelligence….all will get you further with a woman than cheap lines and cock pics.